We decided we’d try and hit the really strange attractions we spotted as we roamed, so when we saw a sign near Polson, Montana, for the Miracle of America Museum, we pulled in.
It was a remarkable place. A woman with the voice of Marge Simpson welcomed us and told us how to roam the sprawling property, which was basically an enormous junkyard organized into a museum, all about the Miracle that is America. Marge told us that it was her stepfather’s Life’s Work. I don’t mean to shit on the dude - he was obviously a veteran, and it was a lot of work, and lots of it was very interesting.
When I watched that film about Flat Earthers a few years ago, a commentator near the end made a wonderful point: These people are trying to do science. They’re attempting to use rationality and experimentation and discourse to figure out what’s real. They’re just not good at it - which is more an indication of the faults in the USA’s education system than anything.
This place made me think of that. There was a genuine lifetime of true effort involved, and a real impulse to educate. There was a sad lack of irony to the entire place, and some solid indications that America’s propaganda system works quite well. There were handwritten treatises about the free market, abortion, drinking and driving, how the police need to be free to do their jobs, and racism (defined as “any person or group that stereotypes others, blames societies [sic] problems on a particular race or grants preferential treatment to people of any particular race.”) That writeup was above a case full of old, racist depictions of African Americans, fake Peanuts cartoons about how dim-witted anti-racists are, and a KKK hood. Chilling, in several ways.
They’d also collected a ton of vehicles - dozens of motorcycles, a hearse carriage, a helicopter, jeeps, a boat, some backhoes, and a couple of actual UFOs!
Old, disfigured Sears mannequins served as models in a delightfully creepy way. This poor thing was attached to an ELECTRIC PERM machine.
They had a large collection of saws and chainsaws - just in piles - and so many guns that they’d taken to arranging them as art!
There’s so much more. I don’t even know what to say. The place was interesting, and worth the ten-dollar ticket. When your nose and throat fill entirely with dust, don’t worry. They have an antique fridge with some Coke in it for a dollar. So, 11 dollars.
Missoula
Missoula is pretty clearly the coolest city in Montana. It’s certainly the place both of us would happily relocate to if needed. There’s a sizeable number of libtards there, with bookstores, record stores, vintage shops, breweries, and a fantastic repertory theatre, where Marjan took me to see Blue Velvet - my first time.
We visited a German festival in a big tent, where we drank some nice beer and watched a tuba band and rolled out the barrel. That last part is not true. I don’t even know what it means.
Missoula Bike Co-op
We found an incredible bike co-op - it looked like the junkyard wrecked-car place in Eddie and the Cruisers. They offer free bikes in exchange for a couple hours of labour, tools to borrow, lessons in fixing bikes - very cool. I made a video for my school about it - and share it here cuz I didn’t get great photos.
Ghosts!
We drove out to see a ghost town! It was way up a mountain, and abandoned about a hundred years ago, although people tried to reclaim it a few times (the last one being in the '70s: that particular house was a little too familiar).
I personally hoped to see some actual ghost people, but it was all ghost houses and ghost stuff. Check out this wagon wheel, left against a tree for so long that the tree grew around it.
Next time on Are We Here Yet?, Yellowstone National Park, baby. Can’t wait.
Hope you’re all doing well. Teacher friends, I keep dreaming of school and thinking of you.
Lots of love,
jep and marjan
Poor Annie. She fell asleep while demonstrating at the 1949 World of Progress Fair. When she finally wakes up, those curls are going to stay curled for another 70 years!
Thank you for taking the time to report on the Miracle of America! It's a fascinating view inside the artist's mind, delusions on display. Reminds me of old comic strips by Mark Alan Stamaty, full of non-sequitur ravings.
I believe the "roll out the barrel" line refers to a barrel of whiskey that is to be consumed by everyone as they have a "barrel of fun".... excellent lyrics and a precursor to the Beastie Boys fighting for their right to party... LOL.